Here I am bein’ sassy about somethin’ before dinner one night in Auckland. Who knows what this was about… I have a pretty good guess though, because this situation happens all the time. It goes like this… We pull into a parking lot before I’m ready. I’m always still doing my makeup, which I procrastinate doing all day, because I HATE putting it on. Clay is so accustomed to me only putting on makeup in the car before going out, that when he sees me about to put on mascara, he forewarns me of bumps in the road he sees coming. Our car rides are often a silent journey of him periodically going, “Bump.”

He has his own self-interests here too though, as he doesn’t want to be sitting across from a woman at dinner with mascara all over her eyebrows rather than her eyelashes.

But I do appreciate the bump warnings very much.

So yeah, we always pull up, I’m not ready, he is, he immediately jumps out of the car, and waits a good 20 feet away, sometimes stares at his phone, sometimes stares directly at me. It’s his passive aggressive way of saying, “DUDE. Really, Molly? Why aren’t you ready yet? I’m getting grayer every day waiting on you. Are you sure your name isn’t Molly Molasses?” To which I reply to him with this face. So much ‘tude. Then we walk in a tense silence to dinner, I apologize approximately ten minutes into sitting at the table for him always having to wait on me, he gracefully accepts and forgives, knowing it will probably happen again tomorrow night, and then we enjoy chatting for the next hour, and usually shut the place down. It’s really quite predictable. I’m just grateful God gave him a boatload of patience and a sense of humor about my annoying and tiresome bits and pieces. The good Lord tells us to, “Bear with one another” in this life. Clay certainly does his fair share of that with me, fo sho, eh Clay? Don’t answer that, or you’ll start a fight.

P.S. Like our honker of a rental car?? Go big or go home.